A Wellspring of Fire

A series of...setbacks have recently hindered my progress in life somewhat. I can't afford to let it stop me, of course. And that statement alone is all it takes to drive me forward. Usually. [Readers don't get a back story. What readers will receive is one person's analysis of the interior power of an individual.]

Repeat: I can't afford to let it stop me, of course.

Is it that easy? Well, yes. You run into a wall that extends infinitely in either direction and you are left with two choices at the core of the problem: scale the wall, or lay down at its base and cease forward travel. In more general terms: when life gets you down, you either stay down or you get back up.

Now the hollers from the more astute members of the class. "If it were THAT easy, everyone would be doing it!" or "Nothing can be that simple when put into real practice..." or "Might work for you, but what about me?" or whatever other complaints they have. And those complaints are all valid.

Nothing is ever THAT easy, eh?

My original point stands though: despite the variables, the choices are either to get back up or to lay down (or go back the way you came, I suppose). The decision you make is up to you.

First of all, if you're reading this, you're a wall-climber. I try not to associate with people who fear the walls for the simple reason that I don't want it to rub off on me. But I digress.

ADDRESSING the problem and its possible solutions is easy. Choosing is a bit harder, for it's easy to ignore the wall and go about your business. Let's try always to avoid that choice, shall we? If only for the usual reasons that we only live once, that we have goals and dreams and hopes and loves, that we only have so many hours in a day, and that we can't afford to let things stand in the way of our potential.

If you're still reading and not grumbling angrily (I hear something about how the veil of ignorance was threatened) then we have much to discuss. Wall-climbers, rejoice!

I said earlier it was easy to choose. Caveat: it's hard, hard, hard to do. As your classmates grumbled earlier, if it was easy then it would be done. And I should point out right now (better late than never) that I'm not going to talk about what you do to overcome your wall. This isn't a self-help blog. Go meditate, visualize, throw money at it, pray, scream, cut throats, break laws, make babies, see counselors, see doctors, or have midlife crises at your heart's content.

No, I'm talking about that wellspring of...something that erupts within a person and gives them the motivation, energy, and endurance to scale walls. That's what I've been rolling around in this mind of mine for days now.

I hope you've all felt it, or will in the near future. The wellspring is this force, when an insurmountable issue stands in your way and all seems hopeless for so long. Suddenly something provokes a burning push deep within your self. This fiery wave surges through your body, mind, and soul; it reignites your passions and your will to move forward.

Take a moment. Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you felt it before? Where does it come from? Is it bottomless? How do we draw upon it in times of need? Does everyone have one? Is it a desirable tool to use?

Personally, mine never triggers when I think I need it to. I can never make it trigger without help. And it always happens in a burst (wake the fuck up) and then a few weeks of warm burning before it cools off. It always needs a person to trigger it forcefully, coupled with sensory pushes (certain songs or smells at certain times, emotional surges via movies or the news). And it never does what I think it will. I mean, it NEVER does what I think it will. Maybe it's better to say it never does what I think I need it to do.

Long post short, I've decided to call this the wellspring. One of my (many) passive goals is to try to understand this, put words to a wholly irrational and emotional process that (I hope!) everyone experiences at one point or another.

I don't think I'll ever truly figure it out. And I hope I don't. Figuring it out would grant it rules and logic and, I think, totally ruin it for me. I just want to have fun poking at it, and hopefully I can get more wall-climbers recruited along the way.